by Emilia Clarke recently made a surprising admission about her time playing the iconic Daenerys Targaryen on the hit HBO series Game of Thrones – she never felt “cool” while portraying the Mother of Dragons.
In a new interview with Harper’s Bazaar, Clarke opened up about the toll that playing such an intensely scrutiny-laden character took on her self-confidence, revealing that she often felt like she was merely “playing dress-up” in Daenerys’s power suits of strength and conviction.
“I never felt cool. I never felt like I was part of the in-crowd. I always felt like an outsider,” Clarke confessed. “I think that’s why I was so drawn to Daenerys. She was this outsider who came from nothing and built herself up into this powerful queen.”
For many fans, Daenerys Targaryen represented the epitome of cool – an exiled princess who becomes a conquering warrior queen, leading armies atop fire-breathing dragons with icy conviction. But Clarke’s comments shed light on the fact that Daenerys’s outward projection of strength and confidence was often covering up deep-seated insecurities and self-doubt.
The Mother of Dragons Persona as a Mask
Throughout Game of Thrones, Daenerys goes through numerous transformations, from helpless pawn to conquering monarch. But there are constant hints that her persona as the powerful Mother of Dragons is as much a mask as it is an expression of her inner fortitude.
In early seasons, Daenerys is sexually and emotionally abused by her brother Viserys, treated as little more than a bargaining chip to buy his way back to Westeros. When she is married off to the Dothraki horselord Khal Drogo, she is again placed in a subservient position. But she learns to embrace the power of her burgeoning role as khaleesi, finding confidence in herself as a leader.
Yet she continues to grapple with crippling self-doubt behind her forceful facade. At times, she leans heavily on her advisors for guidance, looking to Jorah Mormont, Barristan Selmy and Tyrion Lannister to shore up her uncertainties. She is painfully aware of her youth and inexperience, saying “I am only a young girl who knows little of the ways of war” when rallying forces.
Throughout her journey across Essos, Daenerys tries on many different leadership styles like masks, from the pragmatic queen to the ruthless dictator. She struggles to decide between justice and mercy, compromise and conquest, diplomacy and destruction. Her confidence waxes and wanes, but her desperate desire to prove herself as a capable leader remains.
In rallying the Unsullied, sacking cities, and freeing slaves, Daenerys seeks to construct an identity worthy of the title ‘Breaker of Chains.’ But she repeatedly second-guesses her decisions, aware that one misstep could bring her entire enterprise crashing down.
Behind closed doors, the doubts creep in even further. In quiet moments with her advisors and lovers, Daenerys lets the mask slip, revealing a young woman burdened with impossible expectations and crushing anxieties.
“I’m not made for this,” she confesses to Tyrion Lannister. “I don’t want to destroy Our Sons and Daughters for the sake of ambition.”
Far from the unwavering conqueror seen atop Drogon commanding armies and flaunting power, the real Daenerys often felt lost and afraid, putting on a convincing front while privately filled with uncertainty.
Emilia Clarke’s Connection to Daenerys
Given Daenerys Targaryen’s hidden vulnerability beneath her outward show of strength, it makes sense that Emilia Clarke similarly struggled with feelings of inadequacy while embodying such an iconically powerful character on camera.
Like Daenerys, Clarke was thrown into the spotlight at a young age, cast on Game of Thrones when she was just 23 years old and relatively unknown.
Prior to landing her star-making role on the hit fantasy series, Clarke studied at the prestigious Drama Centre London alongside stars like Tom Hiddleston and Michael Fassbender. But she had just a few screen credits to her name before being tapped to play the pivotal part of Daenerys Targaryen.
Being cast in such a demanding role for a hugely ambitious adaptation of George R.R. Martin’s books immediately put massive pressure on Clarke. She became the face of a burgeoning franchise, with Daenerys Targaryen rapidly emerging as both a fan favorite and one of the show’s most important characters.
Like her character, Clarke was learning to lead and find her voice in real time, on a massively accelerated curve under the spotlight of worldwide fame. She spent years deeply immersed in Daenerys’s journey, growing up in parallel, on camera for the world to see.
Clarke has spoken in past interviews about the self-doubt she experienced while FILMING pivotal Daenerys scenes, like making high-stakes speeches to rally the Unsullied and other moments requiring projections of commanding confidence.
“I’m being given all of these powerful speeches and I don’t know what to do with them,” she admitted of her mindset during early seasons. “I feel intensely vulnerable.”
The actress put huge pressure on herself to live up to the character, wanting to do justice to Daenerys’s complexity and strength. Like her character, she struggled to shake feelings of uncertainty despite her rapid rise to stardom.
“I always felt vulnerable and doubting myself as an actor,” she revealed. “I never felt like I fucking knew what I was doing.”
The Dragon Queen’s Icy, Confident Facade
Despite her private self-doubt, Emilia Clarke convincingly embodied Daenerys’s public image of commanding authority and conviction on screen.
From her first moments on the show emerging unscathed from Khal Drogo’s flaming pyre with newly hatched dragons draped across her naked body, Daenerys cultivated an aura of mythic power.
Throughout early seasons, she projects stoicism and unwavering resolve whether being sexually assaulted by her brother, brutally demeaned by the Dothraki, or betrayed by the warlocks of Qarth. Her face becomes a mask, stony and unflinching in the face of adversity.
Once she acquires her army of Unsullied warriors and begins toppling slavery across Essos, Daenerys fully steps into the persona of the conquering Dragon Queen. She dons chic power suits of leather and dragon motifs, with sharply sculpted platinum wigs exuding authority and ambition.
In public appearances before adoring freed slaves and devoted armies, she is icy perfection, with grand sweeping speeches about breaking chains, waging war on tyrants, and building a better world.
Whether determinedly striding out of burning buildings or flying atop dragons to intimidate armies into kneeling, Daenerys cultivates an aura of otherworldly power and royalty.
Her violet eyes blaze with fiery conviction when commanding loyalty or passing judgment. On the surface, she is the very picture of the Targaryen words “Fire and Blood” – an unstoppable force who will let nothing stand in her way.
For the show’s legion of obsessed fans, Daenerys became an aspirational icon of feminine power – a dragon woman rising up to dominate the patriarchal political order of Westeros.
Clarke’s ability to compellingly portray Daenerys’s projection of regal confidence and command is a major reason why the would-be queen became such a beloved pop culture figure.
The Dragon Queen Come to Life
While she privately doubted herself and questioned Daenerys’s motives, Emilia Clarke gave breathtaking life to the iconic Mother of Dragons that awed fans and critics.
Her ability to convey inner conflict and complexity using only subtle facial expressions and body language added further emotional depth to Daenerys’s characterization.
Many of Daenerys’s most memorable scenes revolve around Clarke’s ability to command focus with stillness and silent intensity.
When verbally sparring with tyrants, questioning the loyalty of advisors, or passing brutal sentences, her piercing violet gaze conveys legions more than dialogue alone.
Likewise, Clarke physically embodied Daenerys’s regality and strength in posture and bearing, carrying herself with a dancer’s elegant posture. Even seated, she radiated royalty, steel spine never slouching.
As Daenerys evolved from pawn to conqueror, Clarke underwent her own transformation to portray the character’s growth. To play the wide-eyed, helpless Season 1 Daenerys, she affected a higher pitch in voice and looser body language to convey innocence and unease.
But her voice and body language grew more controlled and authoritative as Daenerys found her power. Her dragon queen walk became all swift, purposeful strides, exuding self-containment and conviction with an intense, business-like air.
She took on different subtle postural and vocal cues for Daenerys’s different roles – the abolitionist liberator, the ruthless dictator, the cool politician. But Clarke ensured that Daenerys’s iciness always carried hints of the scared girl inside.
Even at her most intimidating, Clarke portrayed flickers of vulnerability and self-doubt in Daenerys’s eyes, keeping her human and complex.
The grandeur and gravitas that she brought to Daenerys was not just acting. Due to the character’s expansive arc, Clarke herself grew into a leadership role in her own career over the decade-long run of the show.
She became more vocal in interviews about the filming conditions, controversial plot developments for her character, and opportunities for women in the industry.
Like Daenerys, Clarke found her voice as she grew from nervous unknown into commanding star over the course of a decade under the spotlight.
The Toll of Playing Daenerys
Unfortunately for Clarke, the grueling demands of embodying Daenerys for so many years took a major toll both physically and mentally. The psychological stress of carrying such a big role weighed heavily on her even from early seasons.
“My first day on set, I had to do a scene where I’m sold off in marriage to this guy. I didn’t know what I was doing,” she recalled.
The extreme pressure led Clarke to break down in tears and hiding in bathroom stalls during filming breaks, wracked with anxiety and self-doubt over her ability to pull off the challenging role.
Physically, the hazards of filming took a dire toll as well. Daenerys’s time among the Dothraki involved spending long hours riding horses under the hot Moroccan sun. For the scene emerging from Drogo’s pyre, Clarke had to act nude atop a real smoking pyre in freezing cold temperatures.
In Season 5, she opted to perform a dangerous crowd surfing stunt with extras actually grabbing at her rather than relying on wires. The result was that she was “groped quite a lot” leaving her badly shaken.
“Genuinely, I didn’t know what I was thinking. There were like 50,000 people rioting. People were wind machines going off. Fire machines going off,” she later reflected on the traumatic experience.
Far worse, Clarke was left fighting for her life after enduring multiple brain aneurysms that required intensive surgeries and lengthy recoveries away from filming.
The immense stress of carrying Game of Thrones took an immense toll on her mental health even beyond the aneurysms. Public scrutiny of every facet of her performance and appearance was deeply wearing.
“I felt incredibly lost. This thing that defined me was gone and I no longer knew who I was,” she said of the time following the end of Game of Thrones’ filming.
Despite rallying to take on new challenges, it’s clear that portraying Daenerys profoundly shaped Clarke on the deepest levels, much as it did for the legions of fans whose lives were touched by the Mother of Dragons.
The Legacy of the Dragon Queen
While playing Daenerys left Emilia Clarke struggling with a crisis of confidence, her gripping performance means that the Dragon Queen will be remembered as an icon.
Watching both the character and actress grow on screen over Game of Thrones’ decade-long run was a profoundly formative experience for millions of viewers.
Daenerys Targaryen emerged as the beating heart of Game of Thrones. Throughout her transformation from pawn to conqueror, she inspired audiences even when her methods grew dark in the name of ambition.
Centering this complex character and her struggles for power allowed Clarke to bring topics like female empowerment, violence against women, colonization and more into mainstream cultural consciousness.
The fact that shy, insecure young Clarke was able to so compellingly inhabit this intensely scrutiny-laden role illustrates her prodigious talents. That Daenerys felt like a living, breathing person was due to the depth, nuance and humanity Clarke brought to her.
Even when she privately felt like a fraud or an imposter, Clarke turned Daenerys into an indelible part of 21st century popular culture. Images of the Dragon Queen have been recreated in tattoos, graffiti art, comic books and more worldwide.
Despite her self-doubts, Clarke’s Daenerys displayed a generation of women and girls the tremendous power that can be found when you stop running from dragons and instead ride them as your own.
Rather than feeling inadequate next to such an aspirational character, Clarke might do well to recognize the true cultural impact of her tour de force decade-long performance.
Without her raw vulnerability, Emilia Clarke could never have turned Daenerys Targaryen into the bold, complex female protagonist that inspired millions to find their own inner dragon.
